When You’re On The Wrong Train

In last week’s message, I shared a story about the relationship I let last for 5-1/2 years when I knew in two months that I didn’t want to date, let alone marry, this young man.

How did I get off that train?

The easiest way to answer that is, I just couldn’t do it anymore.  I could no longer lie to myself.

I was stressed. I wasn’t eating.  I was biting my fingernails.  I was distracted and unable to concentrate. 

The biggest way I knew I was ready was I agreed to talk to someone.  In this case, it wasn’t a counselor or other mental health professional. I don’t remember what I told my mom, but she suggested someone with whom she thought I could openly and honestly share my story.  I did talk with her and needless to say, it was a life-changing conversation.  I walked away with the confidence to have the difficult conversation, the one where I said, “I can’t do this anymore.” 

When I was ready to move forward with what my awareness was telling me, (screaming at me is more like it), I asked for advice.  Because I was prepared to move forward with action.

Sometimes, it takes time to process through thoughts and emotions in order to arrive at a decision.  There are times you won’t talk to anyone about your situation.  Truthfully, you don’t want anyone to know what you’re thinking.  Maybe you’re hoping it will all change for the better. Or, you know it won’t, but you’re just not ready to share your thoughts with another person because you’re not ready to act.

Other times, it’s the conversations with others that will help you do the very processing you need in order to make your decision.  Or, to get the affirmation you need to have the courage to move forward with your decision.

If you’re still processing your awareness around an issue, trust you will make your decision at the right time.  If you’re ready to act, take your next step.

Even if it’s talking to someone who will affirm, “Do what you need to do.”

It wasn’t easy to tell someone, “This, aka you, aren’t right for me.”  But it was exponentially more difficult to continue living a lie.

With the encouragement I received, I said the words.

On the other side of those words was my freedom to live the life that was right for me.

Even if he wasn’t.