Unveiling Digital Communication Pitfalls: The Intonation Dilemma

Freida McFadden is an author.

She writes psychological thrillers.  And I am a fan of her books.  It is true that you must suspend believability when you read them.  That’s OK for me.  I do the same when we watch shoot-em-up, beat-em-up testosterone laden movies where characters hang from flying helicopters and run on top of moving trains.  

Suspending believability lets me escape from reality for awhile.  It’s something I enjoy when reading at the end of a long day or over the weekend. Escape.

There’s something else I enjoy doing when I read Freida McFadden books.

I try to figure out what the twist is going to be at the end.  And especially, who the real culprit is.  I haven’t been successful yet, but I have fun trying.

Recently, I read her book, Never Lie.  And yes, I suspended believability with many, many eye rolls and utterances of, “Oh come on.”  But oh, how I still thoroughly enjoyed the I-Can’t-Put-This-Book-Down suspense. 

There was one character that I thought was definitely going to turn out as the “bad guy” at the end; or at least one of them.  I was partially correct, but only partially.

Here’s what I noticed.

Because I had decided he was not to be trusted in this story, I changed the intonation with which I read any part of the story that involved him.  Mentally, I used an intonation that matched who I thought his character was.

But my shift in intonation was unfounded.  Yes, he was a culprit.  But not nearly the one I was making him out to be. 

When I finished, I realized how much I attached the wrong meaning to this character by the intonation I gave him.

The same can happen with our day-to-day conversations.  Especially those that happen via text, email, or other digital forms of communication. We don’t have the benefit of intonation and therefore, we add it.

Sometimes we’re correct. Other times, we’re not.  But our understanding of the message is influenced by what intonation we think the other person intends.

This is when it’s important to have the courage to ask for clarification.  Ensure the meaning you’re attaching is the correct one.  You can ask for clarification by summarizing what you believe has been said and then asking, “Am I correct?”

Suspending believability when you’re reading a book or watching a movie is one thing.

When it comes to communication, be sure what you’re believing is the truth of another person’s intended meaning.

Don’t let your communication become an unnecessary psychological thriller.

Save those for the authors.