So You’re Feeling Out of Sync

This past week, I presented for two very different groups.

One was a group of married couples who each own a business. In our time together, I presented the first in a series of four sessions in which we’ll move through the Couples Communication (Collaborative Marriage Skills) curriculum (*).

The second was a group of women all experiencing a cancer journey. This was a small group discussion around how to gain clarity of thought and utilize that as a foundation for connecting with important others in one’s life. With them, I shared the self-awareness wheel from the Core Communication curriculum (*).

In the course of these presentations, I was reminded that when a person wants to do something differently, in this case, communicate in a new way, it will require adapting to change.

Whether you are learning to eat more nutritiously, resist the temptation of social media, or communicate more effectively, it will require you to transition through the stages of change.

Let’s first take a look at a feeling of being out of sync or out of a normal rhythm.

Even when a change can be labelled “good”, “healthy”, or even “necessary”, you may still experience this feeling of being out of sync for a period of time. At these times, the fact that you are living outside of your proverbial comfort zone will be abundantly clear. You might even question, “Am I doing the right thing?” because surely if it was right, it would feel, well, “right.” When it doesn’t, it can be easy to question to validity of the change you want to make.

One step toward creating the positive changes you want in your life and relationships is to recognize that at first, it may not feel “right” to change at all. There may be a strong pull to let things go as they are. “It’s not so bad, really” may be your thought.

This experience is a normal part of change until you have travelled your journey to new ways of doing things and established new patterns and routines.

It’s true that it may not feel “good” or “right” immediately.

Remind yourself, “It will someday.”

But only if you stay the course.