It’s Still About Pie

Last week, it was a pie eating content.  This week, it’s still pie.

But not a contest.

My mom was an excellent pie baker.  Pumpkin, lemon meringue, apple, or berry.  It didn’t matter.  She could make a pie. 

Most important to this story though, is she could make a pie crust.  I cannot.

It’s not that I’ve never successfully made a pie crust.  But, I’ve had way more disasters than successes in my attempts.

I can make the filling with the best of them.  Well, except for the time I added too much salt but that’s a story for another day. Back to crust.

For many years, I tried. And for the same number of years, I thought I was a failure as a woman if I couldn’t make a pie crust like mom. OK, failure is a slight exaggeration. But not much.  I wasn’t going to feel good about myself (….was I even allowed to by the pie baking gods of womanhood????) if I couldn’t master this skill.

And so, I kept trying. Until the summer I didn’t.  Try, that is.

At the time, my mom and I lived several states apart and she came for a visit.  I made my favorite Blueberry Crumb Pie for one of our desserts. Knowing my pie crust struggles, she asked, “How did you make your crust?”

I replied, “Mom, I finally decided my value as a woman doesn’t come from whether or not I can make a pie crust like my mom. That’s a Pillsbury refrigerated crust.”

With a huge smile, she said, “Good for you.”  And she meant it.

We can all get ideas in our heads about what defines our value.  It’s things you admired in someone else. It’s what others have told you.  It’s media.  It’s friends and family.  It’s life experiences.  A clean home; a certain amount of exercise; the right weight; how much and what you read; what you eat; what career you have; how much money; what car you drive; and etc. etc.

Or, how well you can, or cannot, make a pie crust.

When you can let go of the restrictions you put on yourself around what defines your value, you free yourself to be exactly who you are.  You free yourself to express your uniqueness and authenticity.  You let the world see all the beauty of who you are, instead of trying to live up to some ill-defined set of expectations.

There’s nothing wrong with being able to make a great pie crust.  Come on, who doesn’t like a good pie crust?  

It’s just that there’s nothing wrong with not being able to make one either.

That’s why there’s bakeries.

And Pillsbury.