Driving Blindfolded: A Different Lesson

When I was working as a speech-language pathologist in a special needs’ preschool, I read a plaque that said, “If you’ve told a child something the same way a hundred different times and they still don’t get it, who is the slow learner?”

It is a lesson in understanding which party is responsible for being sure a message is understood – the sender or the receiver?

My experience in blindfolded driving is a good illustration.

As I thought about my upcoming experience, it occurred to me that having my teammates say, “In about 10 feet, you’re going to ….” would be totally useless to me (even if I could see!!). It wouldn’t matter the unit of measure, this simply would not be a valuable way for me to hear and follow directions. I did think, though, if they gave me a countdown at the end of which I would follow a certain direction, that would be helpful. Tell me what I’m going to do and then give me a countdown; “In five-four-three-….”

And so, when I was GIVING directions to the driver, this is one of the ways I did so.

As we talked about it after, he shared how that distracted him. The countdown got in his head, and he struggled to then focus on the direction.

I recognized that although those might have been good directions for me to hear, it wasn’t effective for him.

The question becomes then, “Should I insist that he learn to understand in the manner I’m offering directions?”

Or should I, as the sender, change the manner in which I give someone information or directions so the receiver of the message can understand and follow?

To do what works well for self but not for the other person only leads to frustration for both parties.

For effective communication, the receiver is responsible for listening attentively. But it is the responsibility of the sender to communicate in a manner the listener best understands.

Even when it means changing.