Crispy Conversations: How Frozen Waffles Taught Us to Communicate Better

In last week’s message, I shared a story about frozen waffles.

If you missed it, the story was about saying to my husband, “I hate when you eat frozen waffles” when what I meant was, “I hate when frozen waffles are the only option you have when you get home from bowling.” 

Those two statements, along with the intonation I used, express two distinctly different messages. One was the message it “sounded like” I intended.  And the other is what I actually meant.

In order for me to correct my communication in this scenario, two things had to happen.

First was awareness. I had to be aware of what I specifically wanted to express.  I had to know what my complete thoughts and emotions were behind my statement.

Second was willingness. In order to correct my communication, I had to be willing to not only tune into my awareness but then also reframe and restate my message.

Without awareness, this scenario could have ended up in an unnecessary conflict if my husband interpreted my message as one of control, i.e., “I want you to eat ‘this’ not ‘that’” or otherwise telling him what he ‘should’ or ‘should not’ eat.  Without tuning into my awareness of my own thoughts and feelings, I couldn’t share my true intended message.  In other words, I had to know what I was thinking before I could share it openly.

Without willingness, I could be aware of what I meant but choose to not correct it.  I could “assume” he knew my intended message.  To alter my course and express the message I actually intended, I had to be willing to take the responsibility of saying, “I didn’t say that well” and change it.

In order to avoid misunderstandings, tune into your below-the-surface awareness of your thoughts and emotions.  Express those specifically and completely. 

And when you notice that you haven’t, be willing to reframe and restate.

Through complete communication, I discovered my husband actually likes the frozen waffle option. Now when we haven’t planned well by putting something in the ‘fridge for his after-bowling foodfest, I can say, “Hey, there’s always frozen waffles.”

He’s truly happy with the choice.

Leaving my wife’s heart happy, too.