"The Deeper Side of Self-Care: Connection With Self and Others"

I need to take better care of myself” or “I really need to do more self-care.” Have you ever heard someone say these words? Have you said them yourself?

I used to think self-care was solely about eating nutritiously, getting exercise, or seeking medical and mental health care when necessary. While it certainly includes these aspects, self-care encompasses much more.

Self-care can also mean indulging in a massage, getting a manicure/pedicure, or buying yourself something special. It can mean giving yourself time for hobbies like reading, golfing, or hiking. There are countless ways to engage in self-care.

However, self-care goes much deeper. Complete self-care involves communication—both with yourself (i.e., your self-talk) and with others.

Where do you stand on these spectrums?

• Do you avoid issues or face them honestly and with a willingness to collaborate?

• Do you deny your own awareness or accept it and act on it?

• Do you disown responsibility for your actions or take ownership of them?

• Do you own too much responsibility, taking on what belongs on the shoulders of someone else?

• Do you refuse to ask for help or seek it when needed?

• Do you neglect your talents or recognize and use your strengths?

• Do you deflect praise and recognition or accept them graciously?

• Do you act out of anger or make thoughtful choices?

These questions highlight ways in which you might be neglecting or courageously practicing self-care. Each requires open, honest, and authentic communication, both in self-awareness and interactions with others.

When you take care of yourself, you're better equipped to communicate effectively and navigate challenging situations without losing your sense of self. This deeper level of self-care can lead to improved relationships, increased productivity, and a greater sense of fulfillment. When we are attuned to our needs and act on them, we are more resilient and capable of handling life’s challenges. This holistic approach to self-care creates a positive ripple effect, enhancing our well-being and the well-being of those around us.

So, get that massage or take a walk in the woods. Pursue your hobby, eat nutritiously, and exercise. But as you do, remember to care for yourself by acknowledging your self-awareness, acting on your most authentic thoughts, and being courageous in having important conversations.

When your self-care needs go beyond the surface, be willing to dig deep for the courage to do what’s necessary for your life and relationships.

Make the massage a bonus, not a cover-up for unspoken needs.