Feeling Stressed? Here’s Why You Can Let It Go

Automated Phone Systems.

There are very few things in life that frustrate me more than automated phone systems. I’ve mostly gotten used to them, but I still hold my breath until I’m finally talking to a real person. Only then do I relax—at least a little.

But my patience is truly tested when that little robot voice doesn’t offer the option I need. And when it chirps, “I didn’t understand. Let’s try another way,” with an intonation that screams, “You’re stupid,” my frustration skyrockets. It feels like the system is mocking me which only fuels my annoyance.

A few days ago, I found myself trapped in an endless loop of automation. No matter what I said, the system couldn’t figure out what I needed or where to send me. To make matters worse, I was pressed for time and had an appointment looming. My reaction was less than stellar.  Let’s just say it was far from what I would coach someone else to do. As for patience? Nowhere in sight.

In the end, I had to leave before resolving the issue. This meant I spent the next 20 minutes in my car, ranting to my steering wheel. Eventually, as I recounted the story to someone else, I calmed down. And with that calm came clarity. I realized what I could do to navigate the situation more smoothly.

But, here's the kicker: I didn’t even need to make the phone call in the first place.

That’s when I was reminded of a study from Cornell University in the 1990s. Researchers found that 85% of the things people worry about never happen. Of the remaining 15%, 79% reported they handled the situation better than expected or learned something valuable. So much of what we stress over is unnecessary.

In my case, all of my frustration could have been avoided if I had followed a simple rule: Sometimes, you have to slow down to move faster. Had I paused to think, I would’ve realized two things:

1)      I didn’t really need to make the phone call at all.

2)      Even if I did, it could have waited until I was home and could approach it with patience.

I think I may still (always?) struggle with automated phone systems. But, next time, I’ll remember these important lessons:  most of what we worry about never happens.  And, when we slow down, we can navigate life with far more grace and ease.

And much less stress.